Today started out sort of scary, but
ended up pretty cool. I went to The Vibe and helped Nash out with a
couple of programs he started. One is a cooking program to teach us
junk-food-loving kids how to eat right. The other is a literacy
program that makes reading fun and interesting. I enjoy helping
with both of those.
Recently, he's started using me as a
live testimonial also. I'm supposed to stand in front of other kids
and kind of tell them my story. I feel pretty stupid, to be
honest. I mean to stand there and say, "I was a loser a couple of
years ago, but now I'm saved" sort of thing is for Jesus freaks in
church. Not for me. And not at The Vibe. But Nash showed me how
to approach it in a way that didn't sound lame. That's what I did
this morning.
So anyway, I did my thing, then
walked down the street a few blocks to get some lunch. Well, out of
nowhere I see these guys with guns strut into the corner liquor
store. I know they're going to hold the place up. I see them raise
their guns and shoot the video camera.
Not exactly sure what to do, I
slipped behind an old car abandoned in the street. My heart was
beating fast and all of a sudden I wasn't hungry anymore. I peaked
around the car to make sure they hadn't noticed me. They hadn't.
I figured I could turn around and run
back to The Vibe before they came out of the liquor store. But even
as I was thinking of running, I couldn't bring myself to do it.
What if they shot the shop owners or something. So I got my cell
phone out and dialed the police as fast as I could.
I got a 911 operator on the line.
She asked a bunch of questions, like where I was, and what I'd seen,
and were the guys still in there.
Not only was I scared, but I was
getting impatient with all her questions. "Are you going to send a
cop car over or not?"
She told me that a car had already
been dispatched and that I should stay put. I heard sirens, so I
stayed crouched down with my back against the car. The guys in the
liquor store probably heard the sirens too because they fired a
couple of shots and ran out. Three cop cars arrived and drew their
guns. One of the officers noticed me and ran over, grabbed my arm,
and yanked me to my feet. Then we ran to the police car where he
shoved me behind it.
"Stay put," he said.
"Where the hell do you think I'm
going to go?" I asked.
The guys holding up the liquor store
fired a few shots and the cops returned fire. It happened pretty
fast. Soon the thieves gave up. One was shot in the leg. The
other threw his gun to the ground and put his arms
up.
I had to go down to the station to
give my report. Even though I wasn't in trouble this time, I hated
being back in the station. Too many bad memories.
Officer Martinez -- the jerk who
arrested me dozens of times, showed his fat face.
"Not you again, kid. I thought you
were cleaning up your act."
"She's the witness," one of he
arresting officers said.
Officer Martinez looked so shocked, I
had to laugh. Felt good to see him have to shut up.
"So you saw the whole thing, huh?"
"Yeah," I said.
"Somehow trouble seems to find you."
"Somehow, you guys can't seem to keep
the street safe," I said, even though I knew I should keep quiet.
He didn't like me and I didn't need to give him a reason to keep me
here longer.
He half sat on the desk where they
had me sitting for over two hours already, and crossed his arms. He
started at me. "Those of you on the street don't make it easy for
us."
"Did you go into police work because
you thought it was going to be easy?" I asked.
Some of the other cops snickered, but
Martinez gave them the evil eye. Then he glared at me. "I thought
I was going to be able to help out my community."
If by his community, he meant us
Mexicans he should know better than that. He had sold out. He was
on the other side now. "You're not very good at your job," I said,
still angry with him for all the mean things he'd said to me through
the years. When I was twelve and thirteen, I was a only a kid, but
he treated me like a hardened criminal. Yeah, I'd done bad things,
but I always thought he should be out finding guys who were
committing serious crimes. Guys like my brother. But he picked on
little girls. I didn't have much respect for him.
"You know what the problem is, Lupe?"
There were lots of problems. Which
was he talking about? "No."
"Most of the time our hands are
tied. I have a long list of rules to follow. But you, your
brother, these guys we brought in today--you don't have rules. We
can't shoot, we can't hit, we can't do a damn thing. But the
criminals can do whatever they want."
"Boo hoo," I said.
He laughed. Then he stood. "Need a
ride back home?"
"Yes."
"Come on."
I wasn't very excited about driving
with him, but he got me released from the endless questions, and for
that, I was glad. We drove to The Vibe.
"Thanks for calling us in today," he
said as he parked.
"No problem."
"And hey."
"What?" I looked at him.
"Don't hate me so much. I made some
mistakes with you. I figured you were a lost cause. I was wrong."
"I was a twelve year old kid. How
can you think I twelve year old is a lost cause?"
"Because most of the kids I see are."
"No, they're not," I said, feeling
this urge to stand up for all of us neighborhood kids who don't
usually have a choice. "We're just trying to survive. People like
Nash are out there showing us that there are other ways to survive.
The cops don't do shit."
"Yeah, well, like I said. I
misjudged you, and maybe from now on I won't be so quick to misjudge
others."
I looked at him and he looked sort of
tired. Then I shrugged. "You're just doing your job."
He smiled. "Maybe we can start
over. When I bring kids in that are making bad choices, I can send
them to this place here." He pointed to The Vibe. "You can talk to
them. You know."
"I can do that." We sat with that
for a moment, and I felt like some of the past tension between us
began to dissolve.
"Not that I'm not going to arrest
them. But, if we work together . . ."
"You should talk to Nash and Marcela.
Set up some kind of agreement. Maybe instead of jail time for kids,
they can be forced to come to The Vibe for support."
"Well, that would be up to the sentencing
judge, and is more involved, but let's keep talking. Okay?"
I nodded.
We said good-bye and I ran into The Vibe
to tell Nash everything that happened. After he stopped being worried,
he got excited. Working with the cops was very cool and he was
definitely interested.
And if
felt good to finally make peace with the cops. I know I deserved much
of what they did to me in the past. And that they were doing their
job. I can see that now. But I also wish one of them had bothered to
look a little closer and see that I was just a hurt kid. I think
Officer Martinez wishes he'd done that now too. And to me, that's a
little vindication.
